What MommyMidwife didn’t mention is that the Quiverfull way is more than choosing to reject birth control and having as many children “as the Lord blesses” a couple with. It’s a patriarchal lifestyle of seclusion from modern society. The husband/father is the prime authority figure and the wife/mother/daughters must submit to his authority. They homeschool practically universally, for religious reasons, and usually birth at home. The father is typically self-employed, running a family business, and homesteading or living off the land is not uncommon especially if the family lives in a rural area. College education seems to be looked down upon, especially for the daughters. Daughters are expected to be married off soon after the completion of their basic education by a young “Godly” man who “asks her hand” in marriage and has the approval of her father. The females dress “modestly” which means no pants or shorts but long dresses or skirts, and they keep their hair long. A lot of these families do home church as well, probably because they have trouble fitting in a modern congregation, even if it’s Evangelical. Those that do attend a church seem to be of the Fundamentalist persuasion, though there are Quiverfull adherents that hail from across the board of Christianity. It is a backlash against feminism towards the other extreme, and seems like a lifestyle that is at odds with, and deliberately so, the “seven mountains” of (modern) culture: arts and entertainment, business, education, family, government, media, and religion.

Pioneers of the movement are authors Mary Pride (The Way Home: Beyond Feminism, Back to Reality), Nancy Campbell of the Above Rubies ministry (Be Fruitful and Multiply), and Rick and Jan Hess (A Full Quiver: Family Planning and the Lordship of Christ). Website resources for the movement are Above Rubies and David and Suzanne Bortel’s Quiverfull. If you read the articles on the Articles page and look at the offerings in the Books and Resources page of the Quiverfull site you’ll gain a good understanding of what the Quiverfull movement is about.

Of course the most well-known Quiverfull family is the Duggar family of Discovery Channel/TLC fame.

I’m really perplexed by the very Old-Testament-style legalism of this movement and its twisting of Scripture to justify its purpose. Yes, children are a blessing from the Lord, but they’re also a tremendous responsibility. The New Testament also teaches the virtues of not marrying (and hence not having children) for the sake of the Kingdom of God – as one can totally devote himself or herself to the Lord’s work. Some will be called to a life of celibacy. Jesus said in Matthew 19:12 (NKJV):

For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.

Here’s what 1 Corinthians 7 has to say (NLT):

1 Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to live a celibate life. 2 But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.

3 The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. 4 The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.

5 Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. But God gives to some the gift of marriage, and to others the gift of singleness.

8 So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. 9 But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.

and…

25 Now regarding your question about the young women who are not yet married. I do not have a command from the Lord for them. But the Lord in his mercy has given me wisdom that can be trusted, and I will share it with you. 26 Because of the present crisis, I think it is best to remain as you are. 27 If you have a wife, do not seek to end the marriage. If you do not have a wife, do not seek to get married. 28 But if you do get married, it is not a sin. And if a young woman gets married, it is not a sin. However, those who get married at this time will have troubles, and I am trying to spare you those problems.

29 But let me say this, dear brothers and sisters: The time that remains is very short. So from now on, those with wives should not focus only on their marriage. 30 Those who weep or who rejoice or who buy things should not be absorbed by their weeping or their joy or their possessions. 31 Those who use the things of the world should not become attached to them. For this world as we know it will soon pass away.

32 I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. 33 But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. 34 His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.

36 But if a man thinks that he’s treating his fiancée improperly and will inevitably give in to his passion, let him marry her as he wishes. It is not a sin. 37 But if he has decided firmly not to marry and there is no urgency and he can control his passion, he does well not to marry. 38 So the person who marries his fiancée does well, and the person who doesn’t marry does even better.

39 A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. If her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but only if he loves the Lord. 40 But in my opinion it would be better for her to stay single, and I think I am giving you counsel from God’s Spirit when I say this.

I’m going to blog on this some more, but one post is too long so stay tuned. I’m going to address more of the Quiverfull movement’s sectarianism (some might call it cultishness), unbalanced views of patriarchy and female submissiveness, a strange take on growing the Kingdom of God and hints of racism, whether intended or not.

When I was 3 years old I stuffed bobby pins one at a time into an 8-track tape player. My parents chuckled and ribbed me about that for years afterward.

In honor of Angela, I’m posting courtesy of YouTube an American Express commercial from the ’80s featuring a toddler boy, a brand-new VCR, and oatmeal. My dad used to get a real kick out of it every time it came on, and of course it reminded my parents of the 8-track.

But I have many more milestones to look forward to. The twins sleeping in big girl beds, then going to the potty on their own. My son and the twins riding their bikes without training wheels. Each of them reading to me instead of me reading to them. More days of no front teeth. Watching them become their own persons. Teaching them about Jesus and the ways of the Lord, then watching them grow in faith. Then PUBERTY and the TEENAGE years (well, I’m not sure I look forward to that period, but I’m hopeful that time in their upbringing will ultimately prove to be very rewarding and we’ll all look back on those years with fondness).

I suppose I should tell another “Doh!” story now.  When I was pregnant with the twins in 2006, I had a serious case of preggo brain.  One day I was packing up my other 2 little ones in the van to go somewhere and I was yacking on my cell phone with my husband before leaving.  In the middle of our phone conversation I stopped and frantically asked my husband, “Honey, where’s my phone?!” because I was looking and feeling around on the passenger-side seat and floor and couldn’t find it.  David says back to me, “You tell me, where *IS* your phone!” I asked and he answered at least 2 more times before I finally got it.

And here’s another: during my previous pregnancy with my son, I was also about to go somewhere, so I slung my purse over my shoulder, grabbed my keys and cell phone, and before going out the door asked my husband, “Where’s my purse?” He asked me the same question, and even asked my then 2yo daughter, before letting me off the hook.

Me, David and Melissa right after Melissa was born

One day old...just look at that beautiful little face!

We had a little party for her at our house the Sunday after her birthday. She’s into all things Tinkerbell right now, so I had a Tinkerbell and fairies cake made for her. The 6 fairies on the cake are keepsake toys that can be bought at the Disney Store and can be removed from the pedestals they’re mounted on.

Melissa's Tinkerbell cake. The icing got smudged on the left front corner on the way out of the box.

Tinkerbell cake from the right

Tinkerbell cake from above

Here’s my Melissa at age 6:

Showing off some presents.

Showing off another present. Melissa loves to pose for the camera!

Miss Tinkerbell poses after a haircut a few days later

My current hot-and-heavy business project is working on an ERP/CRM solution for a client who has three restaurants, two food markets at two of the restaurants, and a food warehouse/manufactuing business along with a web store. Did I mention he also does catering? He needs the backoffice management of all these components to be integrated and accessible preferably from a web browser. I’m testing out a package right now to see if it will work for him, but it’s going to take weeks if not months to get all components fully operational. ERP/CRM means Enterprise Resource Planning/Customer Relationship Management.

This past weekend after Christmas I contacted several more prospects for a babysitter/nanny and found a wonderul young lady who came in a half day today and will work a half day the rest of the week.  I didn’t realize it until she came in for the interview but she and her husband are in the same networking business we’re in and my husband was already acquainted with her.  I would love to keep her but she’s waiting to hear from other families who already interviewed her after they get back from their vacations to see if she gets any other offers to consider.  So here’s hoping and praying.  I also interviewed a 16yo homeschooler who’s looking for part-time work to earn money for playing in a traveling volleyball league, and I was ready to have her come in this past Monday but her dad is off work this week and he wants her to stay home this week.  I’m hoping to use her as a backup and occasional sitter.  On a brighter note, we got a sitter for New Year’s Eve (tonight) – the daughter of the folks were spending the evening with agreed to come over and care for the little ones.

The saga continues…

BTW, I called nanny #2 and left a msg on her voice mail when she was an hour late.  She left me a msg after 8:30pm saying there was a schedule conflict with her other client and she couldn’t call earlier because her cell phone service was cut off.  Hmmm…her phone rang before going to voicemail when I called.  This from a 30 yr old woman with a child of her own who was seeking full-time gainful employment.  Great way to keep a job huh?